hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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