the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We left an ass print on the piano.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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