im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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