I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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