Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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