your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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