Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i love accidental penises.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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