Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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