once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
