a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
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Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize