I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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