I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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