Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Who died my cat blue again?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
