is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
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