Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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