'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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