I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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