if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
