chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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