As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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