and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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