5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
