I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
