you didnt know i had herpes?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
