She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
