he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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