Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is wine microwaveable?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
