My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
