my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
