so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
