I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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