I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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