im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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