Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
