tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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