i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
