if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
