At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
