Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
