I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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