You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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