have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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