I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
