Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
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