Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize