my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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