The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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