Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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