just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize