We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
