Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize