Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!

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(469): View more from Texas

Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16

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(619): View more from California

Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

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(207): View more from Maine

dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

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(661): View more from California

I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.

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(785): View more from Kansas

my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working

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(207): View more from Maine

I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.

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