This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug