And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
