I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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