Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm passing your future prison.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
