Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first http://tfl.nu/bbw8
  Replies (13) Good night (2545) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Whatcha textin bout Willis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Whatcha textin bout Willis? http://tfl.nu/s0y0
  Replies (29) Good night (3831) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room (1-225): haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom? http://tfl.nu/q6me
  Replies (55) Good night (10560) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me" http://tfl.nu/l7cf
  Replies (130) Good night (8744) Bad night (3265)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint. http://tfl.nu/71cw
  Replies (32) Good night (6546) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  I respect that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice (1-508): I respect that http://tfl.nu/enis
  Replies (53) Good night (9944) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow. http://tfl.nu/8b4m
  Replies (13) Good night (8918) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas http://tfl.nu/kaq5
  Replies (1) Good night (1738) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking. http://tfl.nu/b01w
  Replies (37) Good night (1401) Bad night (5319)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table. http://tfl.nu/x7xh
  Replies (3) Good night (1843) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. http://tfl.nu/n4ph
  Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (1724)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership. http://tfl.nu/vlyz
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less? http://tfl.nu/3zmk
  Replies (5) Good night (1337) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt? http://tfl.nu/4gjt
  Replies (4) Good night (316) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in.. http://tfl.nu/mgsn
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (171)

Randomize