Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me