Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
