Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
