i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
