I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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