I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
