No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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